Monday Night Euchre

A lady from a neighboring town who runs Euchre tournaments in various surrounding towns, has started one in my hometown on Monday nights. I don't know how to play Euchre, but being relatively intelligent, I figured what the hell - nothing else to do on Monday nights. Last Monday (the 6th) was the first night and Jeannie and I paired up since neither one of us had ever played before (makes sense to me). Most of the players were from out of town and had their own partners. Apparently they follow this couple to each tournament every night. (In case you're wondering - they're all retired folks.)

Last Monday, Jeannie and I had a blast. Since she'd played 500 before, she was at least familiar with the bidding, etc. She was bidding like there was no tomorrow (even though she didn't know what she was doing). Actually, she could have gone alone (Euchre term) most of the times since I rarely helped her, and she usually made her bid. Of course we still came in DFL, but hey - we won $2.50 each! And we had fun. (<-- key word here) This Monday night was a different story. Well, actually, I had fun. Jeannie, unfortunately was stuck with some guy from out of town whose partner wasn't there. So Bettina and I were partners and we started off at Jeannie and "doofus' " table. I knew right away I wasn't going to like him when Dani (Bettina's 17 yr. old daughter) came in to talk to her mom. She was wearing a USMC sweat pants (her boyfriend's) and an Army hoodie (her dad's) and just generally casually dressed. As she was standing there 'ol "Homer" (I don't know this guy's name, so I'll just use whatever is appropriate. OK?) gave her the once over, up and down "look", then shook his head. Right away I was pist. This guy is disapproving of what Dani was wearing - like it's any of his business. And he was wearing bib overalls fer Christ' sake!

Next this yahoo starts talking about his mother. He said she lived with him (I'll bet its the other way around) and that she was 87 yrs. old. As he talked about her, intimating that he was going to put her in a nursing home, he called her lazy! Lazy! She's 87 fucking years old! What the hell does he want? Her to get a job? (Incidentally, he doesn't even have a job.) That pist me off even more. What a jerk.

During the tournament you rotate among the players so you play each team twice. Bettina and I were having a pretty good time (we came in 2nd place) and I was starting to learn the subtleties of the game. Then we came back to Jeannie's table and I could tell she was upset. I soon saw why. After every hand jackass would harangue her about her plays - and not too gently. Remember, this is only the second time Jeannie has played Euchre. Here he was bitching her out about her play. Not one to back down from a fight, or to defend my friends, here's what happened:

Me: Why don't you shut up about it. Jeannie's doing her best.

He: (giving me a look like he wants to backhand me)

Me: (come on! do it!)

Bettina: (man, I hope he takes a swing) [edit: Bettina is a 6' 1" German Amazon. Only the very foolish - or very drunk - would dare take her on.]

He: I was just telling her how to play...

Me: No you weren't. You were bitching about her playing. This is just her second time. Leave her alone.

He: (turning from me, saying to Jean) See, when I played this card you should have...

Jean: Why don't you just shut the fuck up. I'm tired of you always telling me what I did wrong. I don't need this shit. This is supposed to be fun, but I can't take this crap anymore. [edit: Jean had been abused by her husband. Mentally, not physically, but she definitely has the abused wife syndrome. She just quietly takes whatever shit is shoveled on her...until she blows.]

Or words to that effect.... Bettina and I are yelling at him at the same time, so I'm not completely sure what she said.

Then she gets up from the table and quits! You could have cut the silence with a knife. Bettina and I are glaring at this guy, he's all red in the face, everyone is staring. It was great! Luckily the owner's girlfriend stepped in to take Jean's place and finish the tournament. I asked her later if he tried pulling that shit on her. She said he tried, but she just told him she plays 'em the way she sees 'em. (good girl)

The lady who runs the tournament said that this guy is just an asshole and that unless he has a partner, he can't come back to this town. LMAO! Man! Was that fun! I can't wait until Monday night!