Thursday, September 03, 2009

I Can Relate

Somebody else posted this, but I could relate to almost all of these...thought you all might get a kick out of it too, enjoy!

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3.I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

5. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

6. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

7. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

8. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

9. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.

10. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

11. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

12. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

13. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

14. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

15. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

16. Was learning cursive really necessary?

17. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

20. My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

24. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

25. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

26. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

27. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

28. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

29. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

30. Bad decisions make good stories

31. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

32. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

33. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

34. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....

35. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

36. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

37. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

38. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

39. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

41. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

42. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

43. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

48. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

49. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

50. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

51. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

52. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

53. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

54. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

55. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay


A wildlife gardener said...

I think after that rant you need a cuddle now, Sally... :)

I found myself laughing out loud at so much of what you wrote :)

Come and see my little butterfly videos. Considering we've had wall-to-wall monsoon rain for two months, it's amazing I managed to capture them at all...

Gin said...

I love those!! I do relate to so many of them.

moosh said...

LOl I can relate.

A wildlife gardener said...

Thanks for coming to read my once a month posts on my blog :) Are you busy preparing for this season now? I am looking at my 'To Do' list and practising my deep breathing! WG

Stephanie Yamashita said...

I am randomly looking at any blogs I can. I came across yours and have spent the last 5 minutes absolutely laughing out loud. Thank you for making me laugh!! Keep up the good work!!

Sally said...

Thanks everyone! Unfortunately, I didn't write these, I "stole" them. hehe

Stacey said...

Hey Sally!
Long time no see! I come to your blog expecting to see how you are and you knock me off my chair laughing.
DH and I were discussing the other day how it was odd that we all knew to blow into the cartridge even though we didn't have google to ask or facebook. Awesome awesome post! Glad to see you again too.

lulu lawn said...

people time!

Michael Gravitt said...

Thanks for posting, I really enjoyed that!!

Jen Slater said...

It's ok if you stole had the good sense to find them hilarious...therefore, you are worthy to be followed!
I have been searching through random blogs for a while now...your is the first I have added to follow.
Holy cow are there ever a lot of cooking blogs:0

Anonymous said...

I am so glad I came along this post. It made my evening better.

A wildlife gardener said...

A Right Hearty Good New Year to you and Yours Frae Bonnie Scotland, Dear Sally :)

Fancy seeing the wildlife I've been capturing over the past four weeks with my camera? WG

Sally said...

Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by. Obviously I don't check my emails regularly (ahem...) but I appreciate each and every comment.

HI STACEY (yes, I'm screaming..). Miss you girl! You back in the States?

W.G., I'm going to go look at your post RIGHT NOW! And, thanks for keeping in touch with me. (You'd see me a lot more often if you joined Facebook - LOLOL)

Sheryl at Providence North said...

I loved it! I absolutely love it and laughed out loud at some!

A wildlife gardener said...

Hi, once again, are right, I am not in Facebook. I have used my email for 20 years and manage to send photos and say hello to all my, what with the blog once a month, and all the 'old dears' I look after, I have no time to join anything else.

Keep well, have fun with Facebook...and I'll see you anon :)

Stacey M. said...

I stumbled upon this blog by mistake and I actually laughed out loud! Thank You for cheering me up, I am forwarding this to my daughter...She will be so amused. Thanks!!

Reenie said...

It's interesting that it seems many of us *stumbled* here. I don't read blogs too often anymore, but here I am! xoxo